SOUTH AFRICA:

The spectacle of a large fir tree bedecked with baubles and lights, under a clear blue sky seems, at the very least, incongruous. Beside this rather embarrassed-looking silver pine, there resides a Jacaranda in deep purple bloom. Its neighbour on the other side is populated by busy Weaver birds, diligently building their hanging nests – possibly the most spectacular structure devised by any bird – which look surprisingly like the baubles on the adjoining Christmas Tree, although far more in keeping with the landscape.

Oblivious to their new neighbour, both the Jacaranda and the Weaver birds continue their seasonal task of delighting passers-by, attracting pollinating birds and insects, and setting up house for the Summer. Because, after all, it Is Summer in South Africa.

As I write, I can hear the evening chant of the African Crakes claiming their territory and squabbling over scraps of food. There is one particular favourite of mine, whom I call the Nosey Bird: This little creature sets up house on the roof of our local supermarket, and calls down to laden shoppers: “Whatyabuy? Whatyabuy?”

The first recorded date of Christmas being celebrated on 25 December was in 336 AD, during the reign of the Roman Emperor Constantine. Shortly after that, Pope Julius 1 officially declared that the Christian feast of the Nativity be celebrated on 25^th December. Christmas in Europe, therefore, is celebrated in typical Winter conditions of fog, frost and snow. This is not the case in South Africa, where the Summer has just begun, and festivities take place in high temperatures, and frequently outdoors.

Among the special Christmas offers in Johannesburg are: A “Braaimaster” barbecue, on which you can cook an entire Christmas dinner, a set of sun loungers (advertised by a sweltering Santa), and a child’s sandcastle Santa mould.

One of the South African daily papers offers a page of 20 Tips for surviving Christmas. The list is universal, apart from one item, which warns:

“ Don’t rely on Miracles: Power outages are a fact of South African life…so don’t chance the ruination of your frozen treats. Make sure your generator is fuelled up and works, that the battery for your power converter is charged up, and that you have gas and candles.”

The more tried-and-tested tips advise readers to make lists, to delegate the work, to shop like a man, with an unerring route to products on your list and a quick exit plan, to make a No-Gift or Christkind pact with the adults, and to give the older children cash, which is what they really want.

The list also provides the hardy annual warning against over indulgence in alcohol – which it terms “the biggest culprit in family fallouts over Christmas.”

It further wisely advises the reader:

“Not to post photos of yourself and write sentimental status updates inspired by a tipple; there Is life after Christmas, and it has to be faced. “

The Christian community of South Africa celebrates Christmas with typical devotion and delight. The members of the local church choirs will assemble twice a week for rehearsals. They will bring along their small children if there is nobody to mind them, and on Christmas morning they will produce a most glorious sound that will make the Heavens stop to listen.

SINGAPORE:

At Changi Airport, there is the most beautiful Christmas adornment in the check-in area. Suspended from the ceiling, it comprises hundreds of copper baubles, each on its own string, ascending and descending in a wave of glittering copper by means of a complicated and expensive electrical mechanism. I suspect that flights have been missed by enchanted passengers taking photographs of the spectacle.

For this reason, I have completely forgiven Singapore its purple Christmas tree on Orchard Road, with the enormous pink and yellow butterfly dominating all the other decorations. A large plastic Santa Claus is sporting dainty butterfly wings. Bizarre arrangements of Christmas carols blast out from every mall and hotel. The tunes and words of the carols are at best all mixed up with each other, at worst totally incomprehensible. I feel the music has been ordered in a package.

That said, Singapore is one of my favourite places to visit. Under the past visionary leadership of Lee Kuan Yew, it is now a focused, diligent and driven society, totally fearless when it comes to hard work and long hours. The people are charming, warm, and smiling, and possessed of a keen sense of humour.

Located on the Equator, Singapore has probably never experienced snow.

The Straits Times of 12 December advertises “some places that allow you to experience snow in the tropics.” It continues to list “…at least seven places offering artificial snow foam, which dissipates quickly. The newest and biggest draw is Christmas Wonderland at the Gardens by the Bay, and features snow foam raining down on visitors four times a night. The snowfall will run until 21 December and is subject to weather conditions.”

As is to be expected in a multicultural environment, the food is exotic and varied, and one restaurant offers a celebration of Dong Zhi – the Chinese Winter Solstice festival – with a dinner menu of braised eel with garlic, double boiled black truffle fish maw with conch and ginseng soup, followed by minced pork and squid in claypot rice. Another establishment offers Christmas hazelnut sticky bones, followed by Osmanthus flower jelly.

The Singaporean’s own cultural and religious festivals, like those of the South Africans, have their own long standing traditions, many of which are far older than that of “our” Christmas. The Chinese Lunar New Year is celebrated with far more excitement than is Christmas. According to the Chinese lunar calendar, 2015 was the Year of the Goat Those born under the Zodiac sign of the Goat are said to be mild mannered, shy and sympathetic. “Their creativity, dependability, intelligence and calmness make them very charming to be with…Goats like to spend money on fashionable things that give them a first class appearance.”

Previous years of the Goat have been: 1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979 and 2003.

Finally, the concept of the Guiding Star is not the preserve of Christianity.

The Chinese Augurs advise:

“The auspicious stars will guide you to the south and the west. Inauspicious stars will try to lead you elsewhere and astray. Ignore them. The ideal destinations for the wandering Goat in 2015 include Hong Kong, Guangzhou and Shenzhen. To be particularly avoided by the Goat are Beijing, Datong and ‘pretty well anywhere northerly’ “

SINGAPORE NOVEMBER 2015:

 Strolling by an immaculately kept altar to Buddha in Tiong Bahru, which emitted a haunting scent of burning incense sticks, and boasted today a bowl of large oranges and apples offered to Buddha, I noticed two pigeons pecking around for food. The braver of the two walked up the little steps of the altar and tried to peck at an apple; his companion followed, and there was a scuffle as the altar did not allow space for two pigeons to forage. One burned his tail feathers on the incense sticks and fled, leaving the other to continue pecking at the apple.

I stopped by a street market to buy myself a mango. “One mango – when will you eat this mango?” asked the young girl at the market stall. Never having been asked such a question in Moore Street or Dunnes Stores – I thought for a moment and replied that I might eat it that afternoon. So my little girl disappeared head first into the pyramid of mangoes, leaving only a black shiny pony tail visible, and emerged after much rooting and choosing and searching, with a perfect mango just for me! “Not this afternoon, Madam, only tomorrow this mango.”

Perfectly content with this arrangement, and in the full knowledge that I would break my hollow promise, I thanked her and sloped off to the park where I proceeded to consume the whole mango there and then, out of sight of my helpful little Singaporean girl with the black pony tail, who had my interests, and that of her produce, at heart.